Tag Archives: education

5 Things I learned when I started my new job

So many of you may not know (because quite frankly I’m about as bad at updating people on my life as I am at keeping this blog current. Go figure.) BUT I started a new job in August. I’m still working in the same school district, but I have a new title–and it is a doozy. I’m out of the classroom and in the district office as one of the Technology Integration and Implementation Specialists. Try saying that 10 times fast, I dare you. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, I realized within about the first 10 minutes of starting the job that I was going to learn a whole heck of a lot in this new position. You know that saying, you don’t know what you don’t know? Well, I do know now. I know that I know very little and it’s very humbling when you’ve been the girl with all the answers for the vast majority of your life.

Not that I’m all that smart, but I tend to give off a kind of “she knows what she’s doing” vibe and that has taken a lot of time and effort to cultivate. Now, that doesn’t mean I really do know what I’m doing. And that certainly doesn’t mean I actually have all the answers (because trust me, I don’t) BUT I usually can fake it till I make it. And I don’t really fail. Does that sound arrogant? I don’t mean for it to, but it is one of the primary reasons why I struggle so much with pride.

So, here’s just five important things I learned when I took on this job.

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Number One: Broaden your thinking

I like to think of myself as a pretty open-minded individual. I like to learn. I love hearing others’ ideas. I even like a healthy debate–as long as there is no shouting. I don’t like shouting. As an English teacher though I had a pretty narrow focus: make sure you are meeting the standards and doing what is best for your students. The other stuff was just..well it was just stuff. Hoops to jump through if you will so that I could do my job the way I believed it should be done. That was fine and all, but about fifteen minutes into my new job I could see that sometimes what I thought was just a hoop actually had a purpose. Something that felt, as a teacher, to be a roadblock was actually a guardrail. I couldn’t see the cliff on the other side because I didn’t have the right view. Sometimes it was by choice and sometimes it was just because those that did have the view knew something I didn’t. Now, I’m not saying that all the bureaucracy is good or purposeful because it’s not. BUT I am saying that there are a lot of moving pieces in an organism as complex as a school system and sometimes you get to see the bigger picture and its pretty eye-opening.

Something that felt, as a teacher, to be a roadblock was actually a guardrail. I couldn’t see the cliff on the other side because I didn’t have the right view.

Number Two: Don’t let your first impressions of people blind you.

One of my favorite books is a pretty well-known classic called Pride and Prejudice. Depending on how much of a geek you are, you may not know that the working title for this novel was actually First Impressions, so believe me when I say that Lizzy Bennet would totally back me up on this. First impressions are rarely correct, and even when they are people can and do surprise you. I’m really quite introverted, despite years teaching in the public schools. In the past few weeks, I have met an innumerable amount of people. Students, parents, teachers, administrators, publishers, vendors, pretty much everyone who has an interest in how schools work has somehow been a part of my working life in the past few months. Some have made a great first impression, and others not as much. Either way, I’ve learned that when you make a first impression into a box in which you place a person, you can miss out.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Number Three: The best people don’t seek attention and their humility is often misunderstood.

People think that humility is putting yourself down, but really that’s not true humility. Humility is accepting responsibility for something that’s not your fault, but you do it because it’s the better choice than wasting time playing the blame game. Humility is shrugging off an insult to yourself, but getting so angry you can’t stop the tears when someone insults or threatens your people. Humility is not taking credit for decisions that make life easier for people, even though you totally deserve a little praise. Humility is hard, which is why there are few truly humble people in the world. I’ve met a lot of them recently and other than highlighting my massive pride problem, it is changing the way I see the world.

Humility is hard, which is why there are few truly humble people in the world.

Number 4: Just because you believe something to be true doesn’t mean it is.

Over the past few months, I’ve had to eat a lot of crow. Some things I hardcore believed to be true about people and ideas were shattered as I realized how scope and context can be manipulated to serve others’ agendas. Uncovering those agendas is a tough reality that I’ve had to come to terms with as I move forward. Not only that, I’m having to sort out what I believe vs. what I’ve been told to believe or what I thought I believed or what I believed that turned out to be false. Sound confusing, it is. Most days my brain is spinning. Just a quick example: the job I do now, I honestly didn’t understand as a teacher. I wondered what they did at an office all day. I wondered why we needed so many (I think we had 4 at the time) and what they could possibly be contributing. I wondered what I would do in the same position. Turns out I still can’t explain this job to people in a way that makes sense, but I will say that I am nonstop. Ever listened to Hamilton? That whole “Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” question is for real when it comes to my job, but you can substitute ‘write’ for ‘research, type, talk, respond, create, reply, collaborate, design, record, request, etc.’ . My job varies from day to day–actually hour to hour really–and I have to be flexible and willing to move at a moment’s notice. Yeah, I spend a lot of time on the phone and in front of a computer, but I’m also out at schools and in classrooms. I’m collaborating with my team and brainstorming new ideas. I’m learning new programs and solving problems…and sometimes failing to solve problems (which I hate. I start to growl when I can’t solve something. It’s not pretty).

Photo by noor Younis on Unsplash

Number five: People just want to be heard

I know there are a lot of problems in the educational world and when you add technology to that, the fact is we may never solve all the problems that exist. And for every problem we solve six more pop up. Programs work great in some capacity but there isn’t a panacea program. Trust me, I’ve looked. Even so, the vast majority of people, even the ones who complain the most, simply want to feel seen and heard and understood. And this is true in life as well. I’m learning that I’m not very good at concentrating on what people are saying to me for more than a few minutes and I am learning to focus and not just listen but actually hear what people have to say. And those voices are beautiful (and sometimes angry). Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of power to change the world. I wish I did (well, sometimes I do. Other times that feels like way too much work and responsibility). What I do have the power to do is hear people and work to help them find a solution–even if it’s not perfect, I can still show them that I care. And that’s how you change the world. One listening ear at a time.

The vast majority of people, even the ones who complain the most, simply want to feel seen and heard and understood.

Local Paragons V: Old Salem St. Phillip’s Learning Center

Old Salem is a beautiful living museum and probably one of the most well-known tourist destinations in Winston Salem. I can’t even count the number of times I have been to this living museum myself having lived so long in this city, but I can say that every time I visit I learn something new. The St. Phillip’s learning center is a gem I discovered in adulthood. While I may have visited it as a child, I don’t recall it. It isn’t on the regular tour path, so when I discovered it I felt more enlightened than I ever had about our city’s history and past—particularly with regard to diversity and civil liberties.

Local Color:  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3                    Learning Opportunities: <3 <3 <3 <3

Food: N/A

“Faith isn’t just about following a bunch of rules.”

“Then what is it about?” The challenge had escaped Lucy before she even knew what she had said. It hung in the air between them.

Saul looked at her from across the breakfast table. Lucy looked down, lining up the remainder of her breakfast in little soldier like lines on her plate.

“It’s something you live,” Saul’s deep voice broke into her thoughts. He stood, taking the check in his left hand and extending his right to her. “Come on. Let’s go see.”

Lucy stared at his hand, then slid her small palm into his, marveling at how warm and strong his grip was as he lifted her to her feet and led her to the register so he could pay. She expected him to let go of her hand after lifting her form the table, but he didn’t until he had to pull out his wallet and even then he let go reluctantly. Lucy thought it odd how natural it felt to hold this stranger’s hand, but she tucked both her own hands into her coat pockets now as she waited and wondered what seeing faith at work could possibly mean.

They headed out together into the sunshine of the unseasonably warm February afternoon, facing one another.

Saul smiled. “Are you ready?” he asked.

“For what exactly?” Lucy’s brow lifted. She’d barely been ready for lunch, let alone any kind of crazy scheme he’d just cooked up in his half-baked, overzealous skull.

“I want to show you what faith looks like. Will you go to Old Salem with me? “

Lucy’s brow wrinkled. “So you want to show me what faith looked like in 1753?”

“No,” Saul laughed and leaned back on his heels.

“I’ve been there like a thousand times. What could possibl—“ Lucy stopped talking as Saul’s grin widened.

“I know, but you haven’t been with me.”

Lucy chewed on her lower lip and considered this. Finally she nodded. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Great,” he reached over and pulled her toward the parking lot, stopping at a motorcycle parked just next to a handicapped spot near the entrance. He held out a helmet to Lucy whose jaw was on the cement in front of her. “Ready?”

“You’re joking, right?” She squeaked.

“Nope. You’ll love it.”

“When I’m dead, maybe. But there is no way I’m getting on the back of that…that…”

“Standard road cruiser?”


“Watch it now, you’ll hurt her feelings.”

“That’s highly unlikely.” Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him.

“Why won’t you ride?”

“Because I’m not stupid.” Lucy shoved her hands back in her pockets and shook her head. Saul frowned.


“Really, as a med student I’d think you’d be aware of the statistics about motorcycle accidents.”

“Statistics, schmatistics—“

“It’s not happening Saul,” she crossed her arms now—shutting out the unwelcome memory of Pete’s premature death and the gruesome scene. Lucky to have survived, miraculous even, having been thrown clear of the accident scene.

Lucy’s breathing was becoming much shallower; Saul noticed and he nodded.

“Fair enough. We’ll take your ride.”

Lucy nodded and led the way to her own car, grateful not to have to relive that particular memory—today at least.

Her hands were shaking as she reached to unlock the door and she dropped the keys, the clatter and clink shattering the silence between them.

“Hey,” Saul was beside, plucking the keys from the asphalt. He put his hand on her shoulder as he returned the keys. “You okay?”

Lucy didn’t trust herself to speak. She nodded and her fingers folded around the keys, feeling the cold metal melt into the warmth of her palm. She took a calming breath as she slid in behind the wheel and waited for Saul to do the same on his own side.

Once they were both securely in the car, Lucy managed to shake some sense into herself and she headed to Old Salem in an awkward silence, listening to the chatter on NPR, which Lucy had been listening to early but didn’t really hear now.

As she pulled into a space at the visitor center, she turned to Saul and flipped the radio off. “Look,” she said. “I’m sorry I was so short with you. I just, well, I just really don’t like motor cycles.” She finished the sentence lamely, looking away from him as she did.

“I take it your distaste stems from more than just statistical analysis,” Sauls’ words were kind, un-probing, stated just as fact.

Lucy nodded.

Saul did the same.

“Fair enough,” he said. Without hesitation, he reached over and rubbed her arm. “A story for another day.” His hand dropped and he climbed out of the car. Lucy stared straight ahead, still feeling the warmth of his touch in his arm, but oddly also through her chest and down her legs too. She could feel her heart beating in her ears and didn’t know why or how, but something akin to fear was creeping over each part of her being. Not fear of Saul—but of the intensity, the moment, the unknown…and she was definitely afraid.

Taking a deep breath, she got out of the car and followed Saul to the visitor’s center, hoping she wouldn’t live to regret this moment or the feelings tumbling around inside her stomach as she walked.

“So,” she managed, shaking off the building tension. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

“We’re going to the St. Phillips Heritage Center.”

“To the what?” Lucy stopped, her brow raised.

“Come on, we have to hurry they close at 4:30.” He tugged on her hand and the walked quickly past the kiosk in the front of the lobby selling tickets and hawking general information about the living museum they were both so familiar with.

“Don’t we need tickets/?” Lucy asked, breathless as her short legs struggled to keep pace. They breezed out the odor and past a family chattering and clucking about the best position to take a picture on the old wooden crosswalk.

“Nah,” Saul squeezed her hand and they walked faster and closer together.

“Lucy let out a breath and followed as he took a sharp right off the bridge down the uneven sidewalk. They stopped outside an old white building with a porch. To the left set back to the side was a little white church.

“What’s this?” Lucy asked. She’d been here a million times, but had never been back to this far corner of Old Salem. It was off the usual path and far from Winkler’s Bakery where she liked to snack on sugar cookies and sugar cake. She’d spent plenty of time pursuing the Single Brothers and Single Sisters and even the Blacksmith’s places. She’d been in and out of the Old Home Moravian Church, and had even toured Salem College once or twice, but she hadn’t been to this little corner.

“This is the St. Phillips learning center, maybe one day we’ll get a chance to go through it, but today, I want to go back there,” he pointed to the little church. “With you.”

Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but Saul was already heading up the stairs.

She followed, feeling a little like an intruder as they entered the small, quiet building—emptied as the last tour had already been given for that day.

A small robust woman came from the back room speaking as she walked, “Folks, we’re done with tours, but you’re welcome to—well glory be if it isn’t Saul. Child, where have you been the past few months? Get over here and give Polly a hug.”

“Hey Polly Wolly Doodle,” Saul’s now familiar laugh rang out as he hugged the woman, knocking her reading glasses from her head to the floor in his enthusiasm.

Lucy picked up the black frames—she was surprised to see rhinestones on the upturned corners of the rims.

Clearly this woman had a flare for ostentation.

“You ruffian, put me down,” she demanded, straightening out her now wrinkled blouse. She took the glasses from Lucy and settle them back on the top of her head, patting the rows of braids, which didn’t look ridiculous on a woman her age as it would on a Caucasian woman who might attempt the same beaded style.

“Thank you honey. Now Saul you must introduce me to this young angel you’ve brought in here. Would you just look at that beautiful glossy hair? It positively shines, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Polly,” Saul was studying Lucy now. “I think you may be right. This is Lucy and her hair is gorgeous. We were just talking about it earlier today actually.

“A woman’s hair is her glory, hmm?” Polly nodded and reached out a hand to Lucy. “It is so nice to meet you, child.”

“Lucy, this is my dear friend Polly Smith. She and her husband Silas work here at the cultural museum and have for as long—“

“For longer than you’ve been alive sweet cheeks,” Polly laughed, a hearty noise filling the small space of the tiny cabin around them. “And you are welcome here. I’m always glad to meet any of Saul’s friends.”

Lucy didn’t miss the added emphasis to her final word, or the cutting way Polly’s eyes searched Saul briefly before coming back to rest on Lucy.

Saul either didn’t notice, or ignored Polly’s unspoken question as he asked, “Is Silas around?”

“He’s over at the church, honey,” Polly shuffled her way toward the back door. “Come on now, I’ll walk you over. We’ll just see what Silas has gotten himself into now.”

Lucy and Saul followed Polly out the door and back into the welcoming sunshine where the small, white church stood tall, proud and welcoming—just waiting for whatever they were to discover next.



I love NOT Knowing…Do you?

I love not knowing.

Tonight at Bible study we talked about Sarah and Hagar and realized we had way more questions than we did answers and by the end we had come to realize that each statement ended with “but we just don’t know.” We can speculate, we can make educated guesses, we can provide evidence as support, but what we can’t do is know. And I love that. I thrive off it. I use it as an invitation to “suck the marrow out of life” (thanks for that tidbit Thoreau).

Because not knowing is a springboard to discovery and learning.

Nerd alert?

Well, maybe, but “I am what I am and that’s all that I am” (Props to Popeye for that one) and I won’t apologize for it. People are so afraid of not knowing things, but I think it’s beautiful and humbling. So why are people afraid of not knowing?

  • Not Knowing is Scary: when you don’t know the outcome to something, it can be terrifying. How did I do on that test? Will I have enough credits to graduate? Will my boyfriend’s parents like me? All of these unknowns can be terrifying, but there is a certain kind of beauty in them as well. Don’t get me wrong, I want to know the answers, which is exactly why I LIKE not knowing, because then I have a PURPOSE, something for which to search, to KNOW to experience.
  • Not Knowing is Intimidating: “What do you mean you don’t know?” Not knowing connotes stupidity, ignorance…but that’s not what it really means. Not knowing isn’t the same as ignorance; not knowing is in a perpetual state of ‘yet’. It’s an invitation to knowledge, not a label of ignorance that we should embrace.
  • Not Knowing is ineffable: We can’t describe the sensations that not knowing gives us—it’s upsetting, it’s frustrating, it’s freeing, but ultimately it’s what makes us human.

So I like not knowing, because it means I still have something left to know. As the Doctor himself says, “I don’t know…But that’s good, the day I know everything I might as well stop.”

And I’m certainly not ready to stop yet. Because who am I—who are we all? Might as well quote the Doctor here too…”The stuff of legend.”

What is lost/gained as cultural identity evolves?

One of the questions I ask my students every year is “What is lost and/or gained as cultures evolve?” The idea behind the question is to get them thinking about how cultural identity is constantly in flux, first of all, and second of all how even though a culture may be considered ancient, that doesn’t make it irrelevant.

Every year they surprise me with the depth of their insight. We don’t give the youth of today enough credit for their ability to think critically when given the opportunity. Yes, the digital age is severely handicapping our kids’ ability to communicate effectively, but as one of my students points out “an evolving culture can’t lose their identity without gaining a new one” and that is exactly what our digital age does for our students. It is providing them an opportunity to form a new identity for their culture. I hope they take this seriously, so as an educator it is my job to help them see past the “Mily Cyrus twerking and wrecking ball” farce of an era we are living in and help them create a future they can actually believe in.

So the question is: how do we teach our students how to build a future to believe in?

This goes back to my original question. Teenagers today need to know that many things are lost in a culture as it evolves so they can choose to retain the valuable, ditch the unreasonable and procure the resources necessary to build a brighter future for us all.

The first topic we discuss is inevitably technology. As products of a digital age, the symbol 2/3 of almost all my classes choose to represent the “typical American teenager” is always a cellular device (of course I have to mention my students who think outside of the box and want to represent teenagers with a “rock” or other symbol—but they wouldn’t be teenagers if one or two of them didn’t want to deviate from the accepted norm, right?).  In an age of phones that apparently are “smarter” than we are—my students are quick to recognize that we gain new technologies every year; they are just as quick to say that this gains us knowledge—until I question them on this point: does access to information actually gain you knowledge? And then crickets. With some perception shift, they begin to understand that “as [our] culture begins to grow we tend to drift, and every day we seem to lose more knowledge, as new technology comes out.” My point is then proved with a handwritten response to this question: “we seem to worry less, but on the down side we become to releint on contraptions that could mounfunction, and makes us hopless, we loose are level of indepence.” I leave the misspelled words in the response as I think it helps drive the point home—there is no spell check, so has this student lost his ability to sound out even basic words like independence and malfunction? In his own analysis, as a society we would rather let machines do the work for us, so we begin to lose our ability to think for ourselves.

At this point, I hope that “Danger, Will Robinson!” is beginning to flash in front of them (not that any of them actually get this allusion, but one can dream).

Unfortunately, this is not enough for students to completely change their generation. And sadly, we continue to give our upcoming generation mixed messages. On the one hand, we want to encourage them to think critically and more importantly for themselves. On the other, we keep shoving digital media in their hands and in front of their faces we begin to lose sight of what is really important in education: the mind.

I want my students to succeed, but in a world where success is mis-defined and quite frankly unappreciated, what will it take to turn that bus around?