Tag Archives: Living

Wacked in the Head

I used to think I did not like change. To me, it was a 4 letter word not to be embraced, said or envisioned.

Then I realized I NEED change.

I need change because it gives me purpose and helps me set meaningful goals. What I don’t like is unexpected change. I need it, but I want it to be on my terms.

But life isn’t like that.

And God doesn’t work on my terms.

I do exactly what Lysa Terkeurst says in the book Uninvited:

“I’m forever making suggestions and predictions. It’s as if I’m saying to God, ‘Here’s the plan, and, trust me: it’s really good, God. So if you could just bless all this…don’t mess with all this…just bless it and we’ll be good.'” (53)

But the thing is, when I do that I’m putting a limit on God. I’m suggesting that I know better than he does how to run the world. Or at least my world.

And I don’t want to run the world. I’m not a supervillain. It reminds me of the 90s TV show, “Pinky and the Brain”. Every episode Pinky asks the same question: “What are we going to do today?” And Brain responds: “What we do everyday; try to take over the world.”

As if two tiny mice could actually accomplish this goal, let alone doe the job well.


But aren’t I doing the same? I think I’m the “Brain”. Every day I try to take control from God and run things my way as if I could be more successful than He!


The other day, Rachel and I took a day trip to the beach. We were really excited, but woefully unprepared. Despite our intentions and plans, we quickly realized if we didn’t have a little shade, we would both be fried by the time we went home.

So I bought an umbrella thinking this would solve all our problems.

We had plans. First we tried with our own strength to get the pole down in the sand.


So we dug a hole.


Then we piled sand around the pole.


Then…nothing we planned worked and we were at a loss. What a waste!

Until a kind stranger came to the rescue. He had the tools to drill a hole for us. And the kindness to help show us the error of our ways and point us in a more successful direction.

If only we’d asked for this direction first, then we might have saved ourselves a konk or two on the head.

When the stranger drilled a hole, it worked. Despite all our plans and tries, we wouldn’t know the outcome but someone who knows more than us did.

God’s a little like that.

When we try to work things out all on our own and in our own way we get wacked in the head with an umbrella and strangely we often don’t realize that our efforts are, well, ridiculous.

The definition of insanity is trying to do the same thing over and expecting a different result.

So maybe it is time to stop the insanity and give up the “Pinky and the Brian” mentality. Maybe it’s time to let God drill the hole for us and well…

Be God.


The Artist’s Way: Different Lives, What Could Have Been and What Could Be Still

When I was in college I analyzed a movie in Comp 101, a German film entitled Run Lola, Run (not a parody of the Forest Gump saying, though there may be a connection there I haven’t fully explored). This film, though not widely known, encompasses a widely popular theme: could one split second decision, one moment, one second change the entire outcome of our future? The movie follows the pattern of repeating the same day in Groundhog Day style, but the outcome of each tiny decision that Lola makes alters the ultimate ending or fate of this day—to a catastrophic extent—until she finally “gets it right” and the audience sees how even the tiniest of moments can make an impact on the future.

I think about this sometimes, not because I regret my decisions or want to change the past, but because I wonder…well what if?

During the course of The Artist’s Way study, Julia Cameron has her readers do the same by examining ‘different lives’ or ‘other lives’ he/she could have lived. But she adds a twist—a twist I particularly like. So first, I examined some ‘other lives’

#1: publisher/editor at a large publishing company on the West Coast (I don’t know why I always wanted to do this on the West Coast, but I did—particularly Oregon or Washington…)

#2: Surfer working at a hotel or other tourist location in Hawai’i while I wait to ride the ‘big wave’ (okay, so I’ve been surfing once in my life, but it was something I’d been dreaming about my whole life and this, of course, is a totally different kind of life)

#3: Linguist working at a University or library or museum—in the UK

#4: Linguist/code breaker working for the CIA (yeah, I dreamed this…or maybe I still do)

#5: Chef at a small restaurant in a big city (I kind of always wanted to be Monica Geller on Friends. I can’t really cook, but I always wanted to be able to)

#6: Book/coffee shop owner—a place for teens and young adults to hang out, read, play board games etc)

#7: Cruise ship activities director (yes, the antisocial writer dreamed of doing this once…what a way to see the world!)

#8: Soccer player (well, really I wanted to be a star—but I would have settled for playing in college or on a rec league. I haven’t played in years and didn’t even play in high school. Sometimes I wish I had. This is a childhood dream)

#9: Personal assistant to a CEO at a large marketing or other business (I never wanted to be the CEO, but organizing sounded amazing to me!)

#10: Journalist for a magazine

So, after I analyzed these “different lives” I kind of sigh and think, ah, as if. BUT, Cameron is more encouraging with her twist. She says, don’t just what if your life away—see how you can add bits of these other lives into your CURRENT life. After I blinked two or three times, I saw the brilliance in this. It helps to bring you into a more well-rounded sense of self. It’s not that you need to reinvent who you are, but that you need continue to seek out who you want to become. My artist date this week took me toward that end.  I took my first cooking class at The Stocked Pot, and while I by no means will ever be a chef, I can start by adding new terms and new friends and new interests in cooking to my life which will add more of this “could be” life to my current life.

So what life should I seek next?

What lives could you live?