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Listen, Learn, and Let Go

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Listen, Learn, and Let Go (MJT Psalms 140-141)

I used to think the world was against me any time someone criticized a choice I made. Even if I asked for advice or wisdom on an issue, internally I would think what do they know anyway? They’re not living my life. They have no idea how to deal with my problems. 

I made enemies of a lot of people who were just looking out for me, or who were trying to help me grow and see things from a different perspective. I saw criticism as attacks, differing opinions as judgment, and advice as antagonism. I spent a lot of time and energy at war with people in my mind.

And then I became a teacher.

Quickly I realized other people have answers I scoured my world for because they had experience and knowledge. Life is lived in patterns, finding those patterns and learning from people who come before is the trick to good teaching–and good living.

Psalm 140 is a call from the poet to God for protection and rescue from the evil one(s). There are real enemies in our lives, and I suspect the poet actually experienced true persecution, but really when you look at life objectively there is just one enemy causing conflict with lies and deceit every day. As I read from 140 to 141 I realized for me it is less about an external enemy, but the enemies I create in my mind. The ones who preach pride, stubbornness, and grudge-holding that keep me isolated and angry. These lessons in 141 reflect the answers to defeating the enemies of 140 in three simple steps: Listen, Learn, and Let go.

LISTEN (Psalm 141:1-2)

When you call for God to hear you, you can’t forget to listen to his response. And not only hear it but really listen. There is a difference. God doesn’t ignore our cries for help, but sometimes we don’t like the answer and that pride keeps us from moving forward in all our relationships. More importantly, it keeps us from the growth and plans God desires for us. Plans to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11) because he knows us, and knit us together in the womb (Psalm 139:13).

LEARN (Psalm 141:3-5)

Learning from our own past mistakes is easy. Learning from the wise people in our lives is the hard part of growing and leaning into the plans God has for us. God has no desire to see us in pain, and if we are honest, most often we create our own sticky situations by not listening and learning from those who have already been there, done that. In Ecclesiastes 1:9,  Solomon aptly observes there is nothing new under the sun. Boy was he right. The more time I spend watching teenagers ignore my (and other’s) advice, the more I see the truth in this statement. And I get it. I once ignored a lot of advice, but imagine what rich lives we could live from the get-go if only we lived Psalm 141:5! Life is lived in patterns; it’s seen in literature over and over again and if we pay attention we can see it in our own lives. A lesson I wished I’d learned earlier.

LET GO (Psalm 141:8-10)

The most important lesson we can listen and learn from is ultimately to let go of what is not in our control–which really is everything. The famous missionary and Bible teacher Oswald Chambers put it this way in My Utmost for His Highest:

To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his [or her] whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing to let go before we can grasp something else.

Essentially, let go and let God! It’s funny how often we will cry out to God for something and then step in God’s way to try to grasp it for ourselves. Like Sarah (Genesis), to whom God promised a son, determined to fulfill the prophecy handed her maidservant to her husband. Sure, she got a son…sort of…but it created a whole mess of problems we still encounter in today’s world. *By the way, this is a pretty prominent theme in literature as well. See, patterns!*

Here’s my own example.

I have been asking God to meet my future husband for a long time. More than once I have asked God for direction and then decided, like Sarah, to take matters into my own hands. Why? Because I’m impatient. As a result, I have endured quite a few BAD internet dates. And I mean wishing you could crawl out the bathroom window bad. I have nothing against internet dating. In fact, I know quite a few people who have had success in meeting and marrying people they have met through one dating website or another. This knowledge has brought untold frustration and insecurities when nothing seemed to produce a similar success story in my own life.

And then I got so frustrated and exhausted, I was so broken I actually waited to hear from God (I know, I’m 32 years old, and I KNOW what I should do, but I don’t always do it. I’m human. Sorry to disappoint). Lo and behold, when I stopped to listen, I heard. One morning when I was cranky, sleep deprived, and annoyed by an internet match I really wanted to make work (the snarky comments about teachers in high school always being on their cell phones was really the straw that broke the camels back), I heard God speak.

Online dating is not the answer.

Aw man! Really, God? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?! Do you know how much time, energy and money I have wasted?

Um, yeah. I did. You just weren’t listening. When are you going to learn to let go and let ME be God?

Ouch. Great question. I didn’t really like this answer, and complained about it more than once (okay…so what IS THE ANSWER? Crickets. Sigh. Okay). But soon I got confirmation from two separate sources that these were, in fact, God’s words for me.

So I put on my big girl panties and did my best to listen, learn, and let go. But I am a work in progress (as are we all), which is why the big BUT in Psalm 141:8 holds so much promise for me. I keep doing these things Lord: doubting, fighting, crying out…

But my eyes are fixed on you, o Sovereign Lord…

And when this is true for me, when we truly fix our eyes on HIM and not on ourselves. When we listen, learn, let go, and let God work “we pass by in safety” all the days of our lives, no matter what our future might be.

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Waiting…SUCKS! (My journey through Psalms: 40-41)

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Let’s be real. Waiting just sucks sometimes. But that doesn’t negate the fact that sometimes not only do we HAVE to wait, but it’s actually for the best that we do.

When I was a kid I wanted SO BADLY to go to the Backstreet Boys concert (yes, I will always have a special place in my heart for BB. 90s boy bands. Yes.) I thought that if I didn’t get to go, my life would be o-v-e-r. One by one I watched all my friends go to a concert–it wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t I be one of the lucky ones? So I did the only thing I could. I…waited.

Until one day, one magical day, I got THE phone call.

We got the tickets! My aunt and Uncle had waited forever, called in favors, begged, pleaded and filly they landed tickets for my special birthday surprise. And you know what? The concert was special for a number of reasons. It was a surprise. It was a gift from special people (my aunt, uncle, mom and dad). And because I waited.

I know what my parents had to sacrifice to get me there and to make my little teeny bopper dream come true. I wasn’t disappointed, but more importantly I was even more grateful because of the waiting.

If my aunt, uncle, mom and dad will do something that special just to make my little heart shine, how much more will my Heavenly Father turn is omniscient eyes to my longings? My desires mean more to him than they do to my parents. I know that calling out to Him sometimes feels like it takes too much energy, that maybe even He’s stopped listening. But I remind myself that just because I asked my parents over and over and over for the same thing, it doesn’t mean they stopped listening to me. Or even that they don’t care. Sometimes as much as they want to give me everything my heart desires…they can’t.

God has power to grant my wishes, but he’s not a genie. Sometimes he doesn’t answer because it is what is best for me in the end. He knows more than I do. He sees more than I do. He wants to give me the desires of my heart, but sometimes He can’t because what I want isn’t in my best interest, or even the best interest of those around me.

My parents did a pretty good job raising me. They didn’t give me everything I ever asked for, but when they did say no–I learned a valuable lesson: you are not the center of the universe. No sometimes is better than yes. And waiting…waiting will teach you to value and honor a gift in more ways than being granted that desire really ever can.

Which is why I can see the parallels and understand how waiting can be a good thing.

Even when it sucks.

Because “Blessed is the [wo]man who makes the Lord his [or her] trust and many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done” 40: 4a; 5a)

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Get Naked: Psalm 32-33

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In America we thrive on choice.

We have the right to choose what clothes to wear, where to go to school, who to date, who not to date, and even what laundry detergent to use. But when it comes down to making the choice to live life intentionally and without secrets. To live a full and abundant life. To live the way we were actually created to live, we tend to make some pretty terrible choices.

Living in darkness seems easier.

I’ve been watching Netflix for three hours. The sun has gone down. It’s easier to sit in the dark than to walk less than three feet to the light.

But it’s this darkness that enslaves us. We hide out, burying hurts, sins, and shames in the dark places of our hearts.

Because it seems easier.

But is it?

Our God, our father, Abba, Love itself, knows what we’ve done already, so what do we really gain by trying to hide out? Let’s go back to the garden of Eden for a minute–that first sin; Eve and Adam were told what not to do, so of course being rebellious humans they did exactly that. But instead of confessing to one another and to God what they had done was wrong, they tried to hide it. Genesis 3:8 says that they heard the sound of God walking in the garden in the cool of the day so they hid among the trees. Of course this was after they’d tried to hide themselves with fig leaves in Genesis 3:7. Which is exactly how we try to hide and cover things up. We start with the surface. We paste a wooden smile on our face and when someone asks ‘how are you’? Our first response is always the same.

Fine.

No matter how NOT fine you are. You’re fine.

Maybe your best friend has just betrayed you. Maybe your dog is sick and you worry about her. Maybe your family is falling apart.

And still, you’re fine.

Because you’ve covered yourself with fig leaves.

I am the worst at this. For some reason when people ask me how I am I want to immediately say fine, even when I am far from fine. Partly to hide. Partly because I hate being the center of attention and partly because I feel so incredibly weak when I admit that I can’t handle things on my own. Right now, I’m dealing with about 5 different stressful situations all coming from different directions: work, family, personal, financial, etc. Some days I really am fine. Some days I’m not. But when anyone asks, I don’t really want to talk to them. It feels like a burden to share these things with people. But I’ve learned, especially in the past few weeks that sharing things with people, communicating, is really the only way to make it through certain situations. Because when you don’t have someone to weather the storm with, you get beat to a pulp. And getting struck by lightening is just really not great. I’ve got the split ends to prove it.

No one wants to be naked in front of others. There is a vulnerability that comes from that kind of exposure.

And so, you’re fine.

But most of us won’t just stop with surface hiding. We go deeper. We hide among the trees, especially if something in our life is not quite up to what our community might deem as ‘right’ or ‘good’. So when a friend comes walking toward us, in the cool of the day when we are supposed to be relaxing, maybe with a glass of wine on the back porch. Instead of listening to the cicadas, we recoil and hide. We miss opportunities to connect with people and feel love because we are hiding.

Our sin, our shame grows heavy. Our isolation may grow familiar, but it chokes us. It saps our strength. “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer,” Psalm 32:3-4 laments. And if you’ve spent even five minutes in South Carolina during the summer…you know how quickly your strength can be sapped in the humid heat of summer. And we CHOOSE to live our life in this depleted state, all because we are too proud to admit that we need help.

That we need people.

That we need God.

Because unfortunately our lives have deadlines. So we can live in this eternal state of isolation and pain or we can set ourselves free as the Psalm suggests in 35:6: “Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when might waters rise they will not reach him.” Being with others, being with God offers protection and provides a place to hide and rest–: “for YOU are my hiding place!”

Darkness seems easier, but it’s exhausting. When things come into the light, that’s where true healing comes from. We choose God, but he also chooses us. And there is really no better choice to make than that.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance,” Psalm 33:12.

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