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Questioning A Calling: My Journey Through Psalms Day 2

Psalm 2

Psalm 2 begins with a question, perhaps a rhetorical one, why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? It’s a set up of a conflict that continues into Psalm 3, where the psalmist is worried or at least commenting on the rebellion of the people against his anointed leadership.

When people are against you and conflict abounds, immediately you begin to question your calling. Despite the anointing, despite hearing God clearly, the odds do not feel in your favor and it is easy to feel despair. I notice a lack of reaction from the speaker throughout, though he does comment a lot on what the Lord does for him. Perhaps that’s for the best.

I know the psalm is referring to the power and authority given to Davidic kings, but I can’t help feel a connection since I am also called a daughter (and the speaker is called a son in verse 7). As a daughter I am given great power and authority through God’s anointing just as the Davidic king is.

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And still I often have doubts, especially when I run into conflict. I wonder, did I hear God right?

But anything worth doing is going to require effort and action. If it will have a lasting kingdom impact there will most certainly be conflict because the enemy will always step in. Always present, the father of lies tries to cast shadows in my sunshine. Still, with all my conflict and doubts, God whispers…just ask (verse 9).

He always answers.

Questions to ponder:

1) Davidic kings were given power and authority through an inheritance. How does my inheritance come through Jesus?

2) WHen I ask God for guidance, how does he show me that I have been given power, strength and authority?

3) How can I discern and dispel the enemy’s lies?

 

God is a Romantic

I’ve always been a realist. I like things to be tangible, logical, accountable. If I can see, taste and touch it then I can account for how and why something happened, make good decisions, and accurately assess the consequences—both good and bad. This is how I live my life. Boring? Perhaps. Predictable? I suppose. To me, it’s safe, understandable, stable…

It’s not that bad things don’t happen to me, that is not what I mean, but that I usually understand why both good and bad happen because I can analyze the reality of the situation…usually.

Unfortunately I was convicted this week by my safe, stable environment. The fact that my world is so secure, is not necessarily good. Because God is not a realist.

God is a Romantic, probably the ultimate Romantic. And the stories he writes for each of us is more beautiful and full of inexplicable, delightful acts of love full of as much passion as we will allow. And that’s just the thing. My nature is limiting to God. Not that I control him, but I continually try to control what he is and what he does in my life to keep everything in order. Safe. Secure. Real.

How depressing.

Instead of experiencing the awesome power and passion that God has in store for me, I try to tell God when and where I need it, like I know better than he does.

But I don’t.

Intellectually, I recognize this, but intellectually is really the problem so I am working on a heart transplant. Becoming more open, freeing myself from this mind trap of realism and shifting my attitude toward the possibilities. As I told my students when we studied American Romanticism: Romantics see what could be, realists see what is.

Expecting more from God invites him to work his incredible and awesome power into our lives, and that passion shakes things up and shows us what it means to truly be alive. After all, we should live, not just be.

So this is my prayer: Lord, free me from my own limitations. I want to see your power and presence at work in my life even if it rocks my world…especially if it rocks my world. Amen.

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The Artist Way Week 9-10: Take fear out of the driver’s seat, Ashley.

There is little in life more powerful than fear. It makes us sick. It cripples us. It steals years from viable living. We give fear power, fueling it when we should be putting our energy and intentionality into our creative pursuits. Can you imagine how much more productive we would be if we eliminated our fears and concentrated more on what we could do rather than what we might not be able to do?

Julia Cameron explains it best in her book The Artist Way with this epiphany: “Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one’s courage.”

But you can’t just wish away fear. You have to be intentional and vigilant about fear—how you handle it and, for that matter, how you mishandle it.


1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear […emphasis added].


This is not a passive act.

Not much in life is passive actually, and the sooner we learn this lesson the happier, more creative and fulfilled we will be.

One thing I’ve been learning (failing and then intentionally recovering from) to do is to be more intentional about praying (action) and asking for God’s help in making changes in my life (active) especially when I am fearful. And God knows I’ve had my share of fear—but He also knows that each time I have intentionally made a positive change I release something inside that has been trapped and eating away at my soul—like releasing a toxin.

The other day I decided to wallow in self-pity on my couch. Life was not going according to my plan that day and I was exhausted. I felt my options were limited and I was stuck—trapped in this never ending cycle of insanity. In short, I was afraid. I stayed in this emotional state for about 10 minutes—a world class pity party until I realized all this passivity was doing was making me feel worse and not better. It wasn’t about releasing emotion, it was about regressing into a childish tantrum.

Thankfully after a prayer for strength, I picked myself off the couch and did something about it. Once I took that active step, I felt 10,000 times better and it actually yielded an unexpected return—synchronicity at its finest.

Actions—activity—doing—that’s how you cast something out, not by passively allowing your fear to take control of you. You take control. And that’s why action is so cathartic and healing. Doing something literally puts you into a self-empowering mode, on a path where fear is no longer in the driver’s seat—you are, or better yet, God is. And who doesn’t want control like that?

My Mission Statement

Many businesses have their own mission statements, ways of attracting people, consumers and even workers to their products and places. Even schools have mission statements. It is a way to tell the world what you stand for, but more importantly it is a way to set a standard for yourself and for those who see you.

So why don’t we have individual mission statements? I’ve just finished reading 48 Days to the Work you Love and the final task in the book is to create your own mission statement. Of all the tasks in the book, this is the one I found to be the most profound (though there are many useful tasks that help you dig inside yourself to find answers).

This is what I came up with:

My mission is to create a world in which I am free to be creative AND analytical knowing that having high standards leads to growth, but failing to meet those standards DOES NOT require that I give up; always bearing in mind that moving forward will take me to new places, but learning from the past will keep me from becoming a flat, static, uncultured idiot. I will stay fair and honest looking for the best in people, even when I am utterly disappointed. I will work hard every day to respect people around me because only then will I earn respect. Above all I will maintain my morals and faith, without which I am nothing. 

Which leads me to this burning question: what is your personal mission statement?

Do Not Be Afraid: A Resolution

Don’t be afraid.

As one year now closes and another gears up, we all take the time to reflect and reevaluate. People take the time to make resolutions which they will earnestly break within a month, maybe two if they are more committed than most.

I’m not judging…well, I am, but I’m also empathizing. I do the same, and though I could wish for better resolve, if I had it (if any of us did), we really wouldn’t need to make New Year’s resolutions.

So this year, I’m trying something different. Instead of making a resolution that I want to stick to throughout the year. I’m going to reevaluate each month, because I learned something important about myself this past year. I have been breaking the most repeated command in the Bible.

And I break it over, and over, and over again.

Do you know what the most repeated command in the Bible it? I learned this recently. Right off hand, if someone had asked me this before, I probably would have said it is “love one another”. No, that’s not it. The most common command in the Bible is:

Do not be afraid.

I am not a risk taker. I make pro-con lists, I weigh the value of decisions, I look at the consequences of each moment that I live (or don’t live I guess)—and I live in fear that the decisions I make every day are the wrong ones.

And not only are they the wrong ones, but they are going to catastrophically alter the universe (or at least my universe) in some way shape or form.

Talk about some ego.

Which is why sometimes I feel like I’m stuck—frozen in this life I’ve cherry picked and carefully chosen and protecting myself right out of life or maybe even a calling.

Because we can do that—protect ourselves from something that we think will shatter us, but if we allowed it to, would actually help us. And I do that more often than not

Which brings me back to the whole resolution thing. This New Year I’m going to be less afraid, because I have dreams, big dreams and I have to stop protecting myself from them. So each month I’ll make a new resolution, then re-evaluate at the end of the month.

Because this is too important to wait till next January.

At the risk of alienating everyone sick of Frozen, I’m going to quote Elsa here: The fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all [in 2015]. Let it go.