Not Defeated: my journey through Psalms (18)

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. Psalm 18:16 He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because he delighted in me. Psalm 18: 19

Sometimes I feel defeated. So defeated. Like nothing I do can be right and everything I’ve ever done is wrong. And I know that is stupid. I’ve been very successful in my life. I’ve triumphed when I should have failed. I’ve succeeded when I should have been crushed. But those days when I feel crushed, those successes just seem so. far. away.

I used to wonder about the Psalmists who seem so bipolar praising God and then despairing all in the same stanza. I don’t wonder about that any more because it feels all too real as the struggle for purpose and success becomes a daily battle in adulthood.

This morning as I sit on my porch, listening to music and the birds sing, I watch my dog wander around and I just bask in the glory of God’s creation. I, like the psalmist, remind myself that God delights in me. And that is beautiful. Because even when I feel defeated–I’m not. I always have Someone fighting for me and in me for the best possible outcome. And what is more beautiful than that.

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